Powerful feelings may arise when someone close to us dies. Unfortunately this can happen many times during our lifetime. These events can also trigger feelings relating to previous events. Our feelings may go through different stages, from numbness, pining and anger through to guilt and depression.
Numbness: Our loss and grief can rob us of the connection with life – as if we are cocooned and removed from everyday events. It is felt as a shock, even if the eventual death was expected.
Pinning: Our grief does not allow us to accept the reality that the person whom we loved and with whom we shared our life, no longer exists. That denial could have unintended consequences.
Anger: We can feel abandoned and isolated and this can lead to angry feelings that may be directed at the person who has left us. We can also be angry with the people who cared for the deceased. Finally we can be angry at society and at the world in which our loved one died
Guilt: We may feel guilty that we did not do enough. Perhaps we could have prevented the person’s death. Or we could have done or said something to make their last moments more bearable. We could have apologised for the things we did or said, that may have been wrong.
Depression: All or some of the above can lead to depression. These feelings of depression rob us of energy and vitality in the way we interact with the world at large.